Sunday, June 10, 2007

Poetry Train


Lonesome doesn't take a name

or call a shape its own.

It hides itself behind the dusk

slips into sunlight's shadow,

breaks and enters a quiet house

prowls the edge of a merry crowd.

Calls you friend,

says "here I am,

take me with you, please.

Don't leave me here all alone."

I always end up writing short poems. I'll have to try longer sometime. I finished the current re-write on Agatha Ann. It's off to a CP for critique. Then on to the editor. Have work work to do , OWFI stuff and then I'll get back to the Privy re-writes. It's all in the editing and polishing and tightening.

Also, brainstorming with other like-minded writers, watching the ideas flow and spin is so exciting. That's one thing I really enjoyed this weekend. You can see the sparkles fly in the air when a group starts coming up with ideas to help a plot forward, like who is the real villain and how did he/she get that way and what will that do to the rest of the book, or the beginning of it.

I stained my picnic table and put on a protective coating this weekend. Did not walk as much as planned, the in and out storms set off the joint pain without much warning.


MyUtopia said...

Great Poem!

julia said...

"breaks and enters a quiet house

prowls the edge of a merry crowd."

I like these lines a lot. Shows the sneaky nature of loneliness very well.

Heather Harper said...

Many of mine are short, too.

That one was nice. Thanks for sharing. :)

Lisa Andel said...

I think I like these lines best:
Lonesome doesn't take a name
or call a shape its own.

It just is.

And with the rest of the poem I can really sense that it can come over anyone, anytime, anywhere.

R.G. ALEXANDER said...

I love this!

Anna J. Evans said...

I agree with Julia, those two lines were my favorites. Though by the end I did feel a little sorry for loneliness, which just goes to show I have issues, lol.

Wonderful poem, short is good :)

anna j evans

Carol said...

Thanks everyone for stopping by and for the kind words. As you can see, I like short too. I want short poems, short stories and novels have to be fast-paced. So why do I write novel length stuff? Hmmmm. Carol

Rhian / Crowwoman said...

this was great Carol and i liked the lines Julia and Lisa mentioned best for the richness of word play. i've found that alot of times short is harder because you have less space to convey and less lines to hide the bumps in. grin!

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

You really nailed it, Carol, short or no. And really, length doesn't matter. It's all about how you use it -- and you use the short form beautifully.

Rebecca said...

"prowls the edge of a merry crowd."

brilliant description of loneliness!!

loopdlu said...

great job, carol. i'm in agreement with everyone else...those lines are amazing. short poems can be awesome, too ;)

Robin L. Rotham said...

Awesome, Carol. You know, I've always kind of thought of loneliness as a friend. If you can make peace with it, learn to appreciate its finer qualities, loneliness can be comforting in its own way. Sometimes loneliness is a muse's best friend. =)

Joy Renee said...

'prowls the edge of a merry crowd'

love that line. and it is so true that merry crowds can be one of the loneliest places.

thanx for visiting my poem, Wonder Kid, monday. sorry i'm so late returning your visit.

Blog Archive